I think that in today’s world, we are all busy and we all have hard things that we have to deal with. Not one of us has an easy life. The only people with nothing to worry about are the dead ones… just saying. Now, I know that my life may not be as hard as someone else’s, I get that. The way I look at it, things could always be better and things could always be worse.
I am not a happiness expert by any means but I do feel like I lead a fairly happy life. And 90% is due to one thing. I’ll get to that one thing in a minute. 10% is due to just plain luck.
In my life, I am a mama to two children and a wife. During the day, I wear those hats plus am trying my hand at this blogging thing (which takes a ton more time than I ever anticipated!!!! RESPECT to all you bloggers out there!). I am NOT trying to have a pity party or say my life is harder than yours. We have already established that we ALL lead hard lives. What I am saying is that life is hard. Some days I feel overwhelmed.
In my time as a nurse, I have had the opportunity to see many many many lives that are much worse than mine. I have come to many conclusions as I think about my experiences. One is that life is just not fair. Some people are just dealt an unfair hand, to begin with and some of us were born with advantages. Yet, time and time again, we see people rise from the ashes to great heights and we have seen powerful people crash and burn. I think it is safe to say that the destination we end up at does not really depend on where we started but on how hard we work to get there.
So I Have 3 Questions For You:
Where do you want to end up? How hard are you willing to work to get there? And will you be happy on that journey?
Let’s face it. The destination is the goal but the journey is our life. I hate being miserable. And since getting to the destination is 90% of life, I would rather be happy during that journey. But life is hard. And it is hard to be happy all the time, especially when times are difficult. Well… that brings me to the one thing I did that changed my life.
One lovely and wise patient I had once told me “you are only as happy as you make up your mind to be.” True that sweet lady. True that. In the end, it is ultimately our choice. No matter what the circumstances, we can be happy.
So, what is the one thing I did that changed my life?
I changed my perspective. That’s it. I changed the way I look at things and I made up my mind to try and be happy no matter what. Keyword: try. That is all we can do is try. We are not perfect and we will not always be happy. But we can sure try. And looking at the positive side of things helps.
How do I apply this to my life? Well, my thoughts often go like this:
“I feel so overwhelmed. I have so much to do and not enough time to do it. I am a failure.” And then I feel glum. And I have to stop myself and talk to myself like this:
“In the end, does it really matter if I write 5 posts a week? When I am old and tired and can only sit around and think about my life will that be what I remember? Will it be a regret?”
“No. That is not the most important thing. Do I need to get to 10k followers in 2 months? No. That is not even realistic. But if I am trying to do a little better each day then I am succeeding.” And then I feel a little better.
I try to remember to reward myself for the little things. So maybe I didn’t wash, iron, fold, and put away all 999 loads of laundry today. But… I did get them all washed. That is more than was done yesterday. And tomorrow, I can try and get a little more done. Again, at the end, when it is all said and done, will that be a regret? That my laundry was not always washed, ironed, folded, and put away? No. But I will regret if I snap at my kids because I am miserable because I feel overwhelmed. Or I will regret it if I tell my kids “not now, maybe later” 4 million times and never say “okay” once. I will regret that. So if I don’t get the laundry done but I took 20 minutes to play with my kids and then write half a post then I think I have accomplished a lot. And I should give myself credit for it instead of tearing myself down. By doing that I have made up my mind to be happy.
And what happens when you have a bad day or you slip up? It is bound to happen. Just accept that it happened and move on. In the end, what you will remember is not the bad day but how you handled it and what you did to overcome it. So you had a bad day. Tomorrow is a new day. It is fresh and unscathed. It is a new time to try again.
So, next time you catch yourself starting to feel down, or sad, or overwhelmed, or having a bad day. Stop and think to yourself, am I choosing to be happy?